I just realise something, those incubators and the machines around him is preventing him to go cause all those machine is trying to save him but to no avail.
why let him suffer so much if it is already his time to go. why was he admitted to SICU instead of MICU?? did you ask them? is there any improvement wif the incubators in him? did you ask them?
well, maybe on the night he was admitted you're just too shocked and sad to be thinking bout anything but now, its been 2 days. why are you still acting like a dungu? you yourself is a staff nurse its time you start thinking like a person, like a daughter, like a staff nurse.
maybe you know those incubators
are not making any improvement but you're just denying those facts you dont want to lose your father cause you think you havent done enough
as a daughter for him right but that's your own fault why make him suffer bcause of your own fault? anyway, a daughter can never have done enough for a father than for what a father have done for a daughter.
why dont you just let him be leave those incubators away from him if he's meant to live, he will survive but if its time for him to go, no matter how long you hold on to him, no matter how hard you try to save him, he will still go. dont you know that ajal maut di tangan Tuhan? who are you to stop HIM?
Wahidah, i know you love him, my father loves him too, we all do, but you just have to accept the fact that its time for him to go.
but before anything happen its better if you tell your mother his real condition, dont keep her in the dark she has all the right to know what's going on wif her husband i know you are worried wif her condition, you dont want to make it worse but have you ever thought how she might feel how she might react if you suddenly bring his body back? its going to be a shock for her.
what's worse is you lied to her. will she be able to forgive you dont make the situation worse. if you're not able to be a good daughter to your father then try to be one to your mother dont let the opportunity slip again.
Right now maybe what you can do is to read yassin for him yassin is not just for dead people you know, it can also be read for people who is in a critical condition a person in a critical condition needs it
as much as a dead person need.
he have had a rough life from young to what happen in your family with your brothers, for once just let him be in peace let him go in peace.
i believe there is no illness reason
why his condition deteriorate
its just time for him to go
that's the main reason.
i wonder how nasir looks like now
its been almost 10years since i last see him
mum said take a look at syamir
and you'll see him.
its sad you cant be here now.
♥
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
11:49 PM
hellooo,
havent been blogging for quite sometime.
been too lazy to do anything. basically just eat and sleep.
well, there's something bothering my mind.
how does it actually feel to lose ur loved one- say ur husband,
in a blink of an eye?
imagine this.
ur an old lady, say bout 70yrs old,
you just came back from an op, just about a week.
you are supposed to stay in the hospital
but you insist on going back home.
your husband, about 75 years old, on the other hand,
is alright, no problem with him.
maybe just the elderly-ppl-kind-of-sick,
like weak, cannot walk so much, other than that he's ok
so just about a week after you did an op,
your at home, he's taking care of you
so then he went out, to go to the polyclinic
to collect some medicines for himself,
and then the next thing you know,
you got a phone call from your daughter
saying that your husband fainted in the mrt.
he's been send to the hospital.
your daughter said he's alright,
he woke up in the ambulance, insisting to go home
but now he's in hospital and the doctor is examining him
the actual fact that you dont know is,
he's in icu, in the most critical state-nazak
everybody's wondering how he got into the nazak state
when he just merely fainted, maybe due to an empty stomach
and he was actually conscious when he was in the ambulance.
but once he arrived in the hospital, his condition changes.
he was rushed to the icu.
doctors even estimated his time left,about 24-48 hrs
your children, your families, you cousins
none of them told any of that to you
you wanted so much to visit your husband
but looking at your condition,
your children insist that you stay at home
after a few days of not seeing your husband,
your children came back with your husband
only thing is that, they came back with your husband's body.
how would you feel??
the last time you saw your husband
was when he went out to go to the polyclinic.
it was just a normal day to you, to him, to all of us.
but nobody realise that is was actually his last moments,
your very last time seeing him, talking to him, smiling to him.
and you never would have thought that that is the way of seeing the last of him.
life is very unpredictable.
you never know when is your time.
you wont know if you'll be leaving
with your loved ones around you
or that your just alone by yourself.
spend time with your loved ones
cheerish and treasure the moments you have with them
cause once they're gone,
you can never get those times and moments back, with them again.
the first time i saw you, i thought you're my grandfather,
maybe bcause your his eldest son,
and that bcause you got most of his featured.
you even behave and talk like him,
well, according to my parents,
thats how he used to behave and talk.
the only not-good thing you have inherited from him is
his behaviour and temper
thus causing so much arrogance, anger, and hatred in the family.
something learnt here is never befriend with arrogance
bcause arrogance's bestfren is anger and hatred.
what is there with arrogance?
what do you get by being arrogance?
i know things have been hard on you,
sometimes somethings are just so difficult to accept.
but if only you had given a chance to her,
things would have been way different now.
and i wish i could turn back the time,
for you, for her and for all of us.
the past can never be undo.
so i will always pray for your family's well being.
oh ALLAH, if you want to take him,
pls dont let him suffer so much.
pls make it easy for him. amin.
time check:2am
its time for me to turn in already
yet im so hungry
but im really not in the mood to eat
thanks to the stupid ulcer.
i hate it so much!
its hurts badly!
any suggestion on how to get it cured the fastest way?
pls dont suggest bout putting salt or margrine or what so ever
cause im really scared bout the pain.
well, good night then.
-That pilot is hot!-
♥ HOLIDAYSSSS
Saturday, August 23, 2008
9:34 PM
hellloooo.. my holidays have started! it started rite after my pharmacology paper. my pharmacology paper yesterday was..hmm.. not badd.! its really not bad you noe. for the fact that when i attend the lecture i only understand 10-12% of it n keep telling myself that 'i will definitely screw up this exam'
so then, to prove to myself that my holidays have started i went out rite after the paper yesterday wif leen. its not even 11 but we're already at orchard. haha. kental kan. but we seriously dont noe where to go. leen wanted to check-out some hair salon at far east so we went there. yea as expected, most of the shops was still closed so we head off to lucky plaza instead. want to eat. either pizza hut or ayam penyek. but then the pizza hut was empty! no customers yet. so we tried ayam penyek. haha. it was empty too. haha. duh! its only 11+.
just jalan2 for awhile at lucky plaza but our hunger took the better control of us so we just head down to pizza hut. well, we're the 1st customer. haha. leen had chicken neopolitan and i had chicken haven, which turns out to be so bland and the worst pasta i've ever eaten. good thing there's the chicken soup and its nice. we sat at pizza hut till its at least half full ok!
head back to far east and we went all ard it checking out all the hair salon there is until leen was satisfied. then we went to wheelock. pass by borders and decided to stop for awhile to look at the books. the for awhile turn out to be atleast an hour or so. we sat down there reading the books synopsis when at last i bought 2 books. haha.
then we went to bugis, leen check out the hair salon again! jln2 at bugis st and bencoleen st
leen then went to meet her boyfie and i went off to take the train. well, i almost fell down in the train. there was no hand rail for me to hold. and the train was full. so to prevent myself from falling down flat on my butt, i grab the nearest thing my hand can reach, which happen to be this chinese girl's hand. good thing she was nice. she smile and nodded approvingly of me grabbing her hand. then she move aside abit for me to hold the hand rail. i was so embarassed that i felt like running out of the train that very minute! i drop down at bedok cause i wanna go to my grandmum house went home at bout 7 when my dad came to fetch me and my mum.
got home and the 1st thing i did was to sleep. damn tired la. i only slept for 4 hrs+ the day before cause i studied for pharmaco. i put an alarm at 8.50 but it didnt went off cause i had previously put a reoccurent for mon tues and wed, and since yesterday wasnt any of those days, it didnt went off. i woke up bout 10mins to 10. managed to catch the last 10mins of my chinese show. better than nothing but im still pissed off bcause the alarm didnt went off.
today is worst. the hindustan show was again a repeated show. my cousin then put on this thailand show. phobia. i tink its a new show. the show is actually four short stories. the 1st 3 doesnt have subtitle so we watch the 4th one instead cause 4th one got an english-speaking part at least we'll understand, abit pun ok wat. its a scary show. in a scale of 1-10, i'll give 8 for the scariness. since its a short story, i'll just briefly explain what the show is about.
its about this stewardess. she was called in last minute for work. when she came, the plane was empty. it was reserved by the thailand princess. so only the thailand princess will be there. the princess came, she and the pilots greeted the princess and then the pilot started to fly the plane. fyi, she's the only stewardess there, wif the 2 pilots and the princess. the stewardess started approaching the princess but the princess ignored her and she actually realise that she had the same ring as the princess. she went to serve coffee to the princess but the princess purposely spilt it on her she pissed off, went to make new coffee for the princess but she used the shoe heel to stir the coffee. hah. but then the princess said she doesnt want coffee anymore she wants her lunch the stewardess brought it but the princess said she dont want that lunch. she wants something else. and since there is nothing else, the princess said she wants the stewardess' lunch. the stewardess's lunch consist of shrimps which the princess is allergic to she didnt bother cause the princess insist on having it so as expected the princess had allergic reactions she was coughing badly so she went to toilet the stewardess on the other hand was looking at the file that the princess was holding earlier cause she saw her boyfren pic in there. n it turns out that there was pics of her n her boyfren in there. so in other words, the princess knew that she is the girl having affair wif her husband. the princess was then send to hospital bcause the allergic was bcoming worst she actually died bcause of that so since she is the princess of thailand, her body was asked to send back to thailand so now, gg back, the stewardess actually had to take care of the body alone. imagine that. that's when the scary part begin. well, she end up dead next to the princess body. thats wat the princes wants. for the girl who had affair wif her husband
hmm,ok peeps, that's all. im so tired and sleepy. i wanna go catch up some sleep.
Today was my bio paper. n u noe, its e best paper i've ever sat for! so can i take this time to say THANK YOU DR RAJ FOR THE BEST TIPS YOU GAVE!!!
i study like mad the whole day yesterday including the nutritions, acid base, genes everything in the book! and its worth studying like mad. ahha. bcause most, hmm, maybe 92% of mcq came out from wat i have study! n oh, thanks jaja for saving my ass for this module. if you had not called me yesterday i bet this bio paper will be the worst bio paper i've ever taken.
72 was superrr slow just now. i reached the exam hall at 3.57pm ok! 3 minuutes before the paper start. wth the first thing i did was to read the essay qns. lovely qns! ahahahah. but then, one of essay qns required me to draw the kidney. damn! n then that's wen i realise how important an eraser is! my paper was quite dirty cause i had to use shaker eraser but then, i think my drawing still look good. haha.
i went back taking 72 again. then there's this guy sitting behind me, coughing and coughing and coughing. eee! im very particular abt ppl who keeps sneezing or coughing when they're sitting behind to me or next to me be it in a train or bus. sorry, but i just dont like it.
well, im having my strawberry milk tea
and famous amos cookies right now its not a very good combination. im having stomachache now. but well who cares, im having what im craving for and that's all that matters! haha.
ok that's all for today. i need to go n study for one more shitty paper! its on friday morning. shithead btul. im only left wif tonite and tmr to study! ok, all the best sarah!
p/s:shahira, lets go out on fri after dat one hour of lame paper. nak?
i tried to finish it in 50 mins so i can leave 1st
but my mind just wont help me in getting the answers.
so instead i had to wait till they collect our papers
cause i couldn't finish in 50 mins.
the lecturers was like taking forever to dismissed us
n when they do, they dismissed us row by row.
wth. im in the 3rd last row.
so then, my plan for today was,
-aft my paper, go to the library, pay for the overdue book n extend it again
-go n collect my ic
-go down to bugis st to get jaja a dress for her burfday. i went to the library with leen to pay the fines.
it was bout $2+ and then i extend the book.
n then i asked her if she wants to come along wif me to bugis
since she got no plan, so she agreed.
on our way down, i met up wif my clsmates.
they give me this pen. the pen with four colours, for nurses day.
and head down straight to the mrt stn.
then leen suddenly changed her mind and decided to go home.
oh well, i dont mind bcause i was supposed to go alone.
so then i saw yvonne at the mrt tracks
she's going to city hall.good!
atleast i've got company
but then, the train gave a problem.
it stopped at amk n wont move. wth.
everybody had to get down frm the train.
so we all took the next train that came in the middle platform.
wow!it's my 1st time taking train from the middle platform at amk.
i noe im so jakun. atleast thats wat leen said. hah.
saw sha as in shahira in train.
yvonne know her so we approach her.
oh dear, she's so bubbly
but that's nice cause she can talk n talk n talk.
she's alone btw and dont noe where to go.
she decided to come along wif me when she found out i was alone too.
that was nice
atleast den im not a loner.
yah so i got my ic.hehe.
i think it look quite good. haha.
well, for the 1st time.
all my ezlink pics look like shit.
n im so happy my ic turn out good.
then we went to bugis by bus.
round2 bugis st for awhile.
sha saw this dress.
yah it was niceee.
i bought it. 2! haha.
one for jaja one for myself. jiwe g2 ar. haha.
then we head down to kfc.
-mcm tringin lps bace blog iman. prangai budak gemok seh. haha.-
we actually sat there for bout 3 hours ok! haha
eat n then just talk n talk n talk.
haha. weird eh. i never knew her n suddenly we go out together
talking so much wif each other and bitching bout so many girls in schs.
hahaha. sha i had fun wif you today.
let's go out again together sometimes.
you noe, since both of us are such a loner.haha.
n,n when i was at the tamp interchange, i met sumone hehehehehe. its a been long time since i saw him. damn cute la seh!!! hahahah. he smiled at me and i smiled back at him. n since my 293 line is not moving yet, i asked him la where he's going. haha. have to if not it'll be like an awkward situation. its been so long since we talked to each other. haish, those times back then was really fun. nice knowing u sumhow. ;DD
he liked it alott so bought it for his belated burfday prezy.
yea, so den took some pics and head home
that's all. ;D
♥ its her birthday ya'll!!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
1:10 PM
hey there bloggie, so, yesterday was my last da of the month attachment! it was sad to leave such a nice ward, wif nice staffs. aww, i'll miss dem' they should have send me to that ward for the 3 weeks attachment instead. haish! oh well, besides that, i was super exultant!! attachment is over!! so then, all i have to think about was, -get home, -get changed -n get ready to go out again. you wanna noe y?? that's bcause its
SAHIDAH'S 18th BIRTHDAY!!
happy birthday my dear bestfren!
i gave her the birthday wishes in the middle of the party. hahah just being random. oh well, i had alott of fun! joking, laughing den joking again. Nash actually came by. Haha its been so long since i met him.
So then, sha cut her cake at bout 10++. nearly to 11. so late. but well, the party itself started late. cant blame the party. the burfday girl herself came late. nearly 9pm. hmm, i wonder what she means when she said party starts at 5pm. it was almost 11 already and its so late for me already la + i really3 needs to go to the toilet. my baldder was superrr full la. i thought of going to the toilet on my way back since the toilet is quite far, but hamidah n all, ask me to go to the toilet 1st. den come back to the pit and wait for dani ipen n frens to come 1st haiya. they all are taking their own sweet time to come n i can bearly hold my bladder any longer.
so yea, i went to the toilet. came back and they're all there. thank god! chat for awhile only and then went back home. its super late already la. took a cab home with mida,ritz an nash.
n oh, i went to sleep straight after dat. im too tired. i went out the whole day ok. frm work to pit.
